As expected, the baby's arrival (and presence) makes a devotional time tougher than ever. This morning, I was determined! I did not go back to bed after feeding Kirsi. I did not give up once Knox joined me in my quiet time. I did not skim while stopping every two seconds to say, "Be gentle with your sister." and "Don't touch her head, please." It felt like a success when I finally made it to my last chapter for the day and found rich and wonderful words.
(30:1-3) I am the rebellious child who loves to execute my own plan and often forgets to consult my Lord. I am so guilty of seeking my own solutions (running to Egypt) rather than following God in His plan. I am so guilty of "doing" when I should be repenting, resting, trusting, and being quiet (v.15). Despite all my failings, Gog longs to be gracious (v.18). That boggles my mind. I am usually so suspicious that I am failing and that God is long suffering as He waits to correct me once again. There is no verse to back that thought because it is my own misguided thinking. Yes, God does correct us, but there is more to Him than that. He loves us and cares for us and "...waits on high to have compassion..." (v.18). Just because I fear failure and the loss of relationships because of my inadequacies does not mean that God is constantly waiting to correct me or that He gets tired of my failures. Verses 23-26 further illustrate this point. God provides rain, and growth, and water, and light... He provides life in its fullness and heals His children.
I know there is more to this passage than what I am getting out of it. There was so much I read today that I don't understand. However, I am thankful for the parts that I do understand and that I was able to take the time to read, process, and write about it all in the same day.
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